Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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