My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
