I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
