wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
