i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
