do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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