She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ttyl tear gas
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
