she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
