i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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