He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
