I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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