nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Buhtt sex?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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