There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
