I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
