i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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