no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Farmville is her only friend.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
