she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
