i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
