Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
