Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
