btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
