He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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