There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
did i walk over a car last night?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
