did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
why is half of my head shaved?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
