Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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