Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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