So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize