...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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