Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
