I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
