sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
