I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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