i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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