Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
