make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
