She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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