it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
