areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
