ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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