did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
