He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize