I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
