he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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