I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
