I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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