I wish I could punch you in the face.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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