you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
