i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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