Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
