he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
