I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
