Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
