I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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