I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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