Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
