How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize