cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
