he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
