The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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