i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize