some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
