i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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