Jerry, you need to find god
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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