And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
